HOW TO CONNECT WITH OTHER MOMS & FORM FRIENDSHIPS
If you landed here then you are in search of strong mom friendships, or desire to strengthen the relationships that you currently have. As a mom, life can be isolating if you do not regularly connect with other moms in your same or similar situation. Moms need other moms to vent to, learn from each other, and have fun. We are here to encourage you and remind you that there is a way to connect with other moms and form solid mom friendships.
You are in the right place!
The Perfect Mom Friendship
Have you ever wanted to have a mom texting group that would reach out to you for play dates or coffee? What about a group of girlfriends that are empathetic to the struggles of motherhood, and are always down for glass of wine and a pastry? Yes, it is nice to link up with someone who is willing to chat about anything that comes to mind, and most of all someone that you vibe with and has great positive energy. This is what we are here to help you accomplish. As a mom, it is important to have a bucket of at least three to six friends that are typically free and willing to make you part of their day and invite you in for conversation, or a playdate.
Your current Mom Friendships
Good and strong friendships are hard to come by. And like all relationships, friendship takes work. Perhaps you currently have a group of friends that you have socially outgrown. Maybe you are the first mom of your newly-wed group and desire the friendship of seasoned moms. It could be that you are new to an area and are searching for mom friends, or maybe you feel isolated and alone as a SAHM or WFH mom. In these situations, we as mothers lack the opportunity for adult social conversation. Whatever the case might be, your feelings are valid. It is normal for humans to desire and pursue social connection. Especially through the ups and downs of motherhood, social connection is imperative.
Is it lame that I am looking for Mom Friends?
Not at all! Friendship at its core helps humans to feel connected and allows us to discuss and filter out the situations in life that require a trusted second opinion. Friendship in motherhood is important so that mothers have a safe place to vent, ask questions, share parenting styles, and to do so in a non-judgmental atmosphere. Connecting with other mothers helps one to stay current on the parenting methods, and lifestyle dynamics of their own generational needs, and the generational needs of their children. Furthermore, the demands of motherhood can be very quiet but heavy in nature. Acknowledging one’s struggle with other mothers can be very liberating and emotionally forgiving. It is essential to one’s mental health to have an outlet in other mothers that embraces positivity, and encouragement on the motherhood journey.
So how do we connect with other Moms and form Friendships?
Remember that you are not alone, and chances are that other mothers have been there too, so they are very likely to reciprocate your advances for conversation and playdates.
-Be open to conversation. Be willing to ask questions about new moms that you meet and use it as a trial run to see how interesting and engaging the person is. Use this as “Vibe Meter” to determine the likelihood that the two of you would connect. If you see another mom at the park, grocery store, or Starbucks, just start being chatty and see how well they respond. If all goes well, ask if they would like to exchange numbers for a playdate or girls’ night down the line. Feel free to throw in the disclaimer “This probably sounds weird, and I never do this, but would you like to exchange numbers and have a playdate sometime?”
-Invite current or new mom friends out on a playdate or girls’ night. Sometimes moms are just as busy as you are. Take the first step and invite them for a quick afternoon play date or quick evening get together. Who doesn’t love an excuse to get away for an hour or two? Especially if you are invited! Don’t overthink the planning. Just pick a place, and a time. Send them a text a day before to see if they can make it. No Pressure. Throw out one last invite if they can’t make it. Otherwise move on the next mom. If they can meet up, keep in mind that small moments add up to big friendships. A few meaningful conversations over time, can build up a strong long lasting mom friendship.
-Start a group chat. This is easy when all the moms know each other, but even if they don’t, simply ask their permission if they would like to be included. Instead of texting 6 different friends to see who can tag along, simply drop the playdate invites into the chat! Keep in mind: Even if no one can go, go anyway! It is good to get out.
-Start a book club, devotional study or hobby related activity for regular meetups. Your group can be small, and the duration of the study can last 3-4 weeks. Remember to cast a wide net, as all moms have activities and conflicting obligations. If a few cannot make it, don’t let that get you down. You only need one true friend. Plus having a small intimate group makes conversation more meaningful.
-Give them a call. It is so easy to text, for find someone on Facebook to add them as a friend, but take the substantial step to call them and chat. When you call, feel free to throw out a disclaimer first by saying “Hey girl, I just had a few minutes and wanted to call to say hello. I hope I’m not impeding, I just wanted to chat to pass the time and thought of you. How are you?!” Be sure to sound happy, so that your good intentioned positive energy can come across on the line. They will more than likely reciprocate your good energy, or better yet share how they are feeling in that moment which is a prime opportunity to build on that moment.
The Happy Ending
Hopefully once you have tried a few of these strategies, you will feel relieved that you planted a few seeds of friendship for those big moments when you really need a listening ear. Remember to be open, extend an invite or two, and give them a call. It will all work out in the end, and you will soon have great mom friendships to show for it.